FIFTY SHADES MEANDER PLUS

And, of course, an aspidistra to put in front of the piano. We would need waitresses in white aprons and little caps pushing properly-squeaky trolleys (serving carts). So our tea party would have to be a proper Victorian presentation: bone china teacups, linens, and tiny cloth napkins. The castle where I live is about a thousand years old, but the latest round of renovations dates to Victorian days. A week later I faced the Tea Party Committee. Apparently anything consumed late in the afternoon qualifies here, and actually her dogfood probably tastes better than most tea biscuits.īut really, I asked my friend, how hard could it be to slap a teabag into a mug of hot water and add a couple of biscuits on the side? She turned pale, and decided we’d need more people. Tea without Tea: When I picked up my dog from the kennel, I was assured that she had already finished her tea.Tea parties for pets? How is that a thing? Even in England? High tea: something they only have in posh American hotels where they try to sneak actual food onto the tea menu.(Sadly, however, minus the vodka shooters.)

FIFTY SHADES MEANDER PLUS

Cream Tea-menu: #3 plus clotted cream, one of the great taste inventions ever.(Since, here in England, you’re never going to need those trays for actual ice, of course.)

NOT jelly, because here in England that’s the name for the gelatinous substance you put into ice-cube trays and make into vodka shooters.

Tea-menu: tea plus teeny little bits of bread or scones with butter and jam.

Tea-time: any late afternoon time between three and six o’clock when you might try to drive somewhere but can’t because of the tea-time traffic, try to contact a business but can’t because of their tea-time break, or try to talk to your builders but can’t because they are in my kitchen drinking tea-time black sludge.

Pretty much any flat carbohydrate will do nicely here. It doesn’t even really mean cookies, at least not in the American ginormous-chocolate-chip-and/or-nut-crammed-cardiac-event-waiting-to-happen sense of the word. Although everyone I knew when we lived in Virginia would shudder, this does not mean fluffy, buttery rolls.

They will also expect biscuits, but relax. Builders Tea: so called because anyone – but especially builders – who comes to your house to do any sort of job will be physically incapable of completing their task until they have demanded, received, and consumed at least one cup of black tea.Although I’ve lived in England for a couple of years, all I really know about tea is the following: So when a friend suggested we do a proper afternoon tea in support of our annual village charity, I had to remind her that as an American, I’m tea-impaired. But the guests tended to have names like Mr. Of course, I’ve attended other tea parties.

Fifty shades meander